BY GILLIAN MCCAIN

tumblr_mgq2yj0nrs1ras7ljo1_500

The schoolboy shetland.  In my fantasy, he just finished eating a strawberry sundae at Fortnum and Mason and is now discussing British colonial economic theory with a beautiful woman twenty years his senior.

tumblr_mrhqugxK2E1qzezkgo1_500

Every twelve year old girl had a sweater like this in the 70s, but this photo, I assume, was taken in the 60s, and Mick is wearing one that looks like he got it from the girls section at an Oxfam store. Back to the Future? The white shirt could have come from the same charity shop. The belt is an interesting touch. No twelve year old girl would have thought of that.

371x479xmick-jagger-elegant-suite-photo.jpg.pagespeed.ic_.gByVYfAgk0

Ooh la la. Mick dressed as the economist he might have become if he hadn’t been turned on to Chuck Berry. Very sexy.

271595e362c8c4be088dbcea3dd63c54

Androgynous shakespearian elf wear? I can dig it. But Bianca’s Little Miss Muffet ensemble has got to go. 

f20e8e1dfd329cec460bcb8a1750349e

The iconic white Capezios. Mick wore these for decades. No platforms or Beatle boots for this trailblazer.

3616d424fedbb2ccc26a8c834b313d8d

This is the concept that Paul Smith totally ripped off Mick– putting patterns and stripes together that aren’t all matchy-poo but somehow work. Add some straw and we are off to the races. Probably the outfit Mick would wear for a late lunch at Chris Blackwell’s Jamaican plantation.

mick061200x800

Mick the colonialist. Frankly he doesn’t give a fuck if he is welcomed or not. He has work to do.

tumblr_mf99ggBZfM1rie578o1_500

The hat puzzles me. And is there some kind of jewel glued to his forehead? Can’t tell, my eyesight gets worse every year.

38ff043073cc97c3d46286b275d3ea79

Vests are so underrated. But it is so hard to find one that fits properly. Women’s vests always have weird pleats and puckerings. Vests should not be worn to showcase cleavage!!! The bare chest of an androgynous male (see above) is a must-have accessory when it comes to vests. Or would you call this a bolero? Either one, it works.

11c41be83aac885db6c55adfe3108ba6

Took a quick dip in some heiresses pool in the South of France, let the hat and the hair dry simultaneously. Now he is sneering at the hostess, trying to remember if her fortune came from frozen oven chips or duty free shoppes.

main.original.585x0

It sure is, Mick. It sure is. By the way, it looks like you might bust a button on your trousers.

article-2025533-0D60C09500000578-154_306x423

LOVE it. Color inspired by the hard candies in the crystal bowl on the doily on  grandmum’s coffee table.

Unknown

I’m having it. One thing I love about Mick is that he wears denim sparingly. It would be interesting to know what he is wearing below. Definitely not denim.

540fdad5d51e8_-_jerry-hall-normcore

The beard? It looks better than it did on Jackson Browne. Here Mick looks like a “scout”  who just approached cheerleader Jerry Hall (“C’mon baby, I’ll make you a star. I’ll take you a million miles from all this, put you on a pedestal. “) The suit has cocaine written all over it. Which is okay. No judgement. As long as it was just a temporary lifestyle choice.

mick-jagger_jerry-hall_1978

Unless you are Michelle and Malia, I’m not a believer in family members doing the color-coordinating thing. And unlike the coke bottles in Part Two, the lime green adds nothing to this ensemble. You would think Mick, being a stickler for details, would have thought that one out.

dcbc600127d0adc255b7c1b14f800a3979eee659

Must have been the year Rick Springfield was at the height of his popularity. A temporary lapse of judgement on Mick’s part.

tumblr_ls6nxqXJev1qh6z2wo1_500

The just-retired-to-Palm-Beach-under-an-assumed-name look.  LIving in a cop-op building habituated by many elderly French Canadians (male) wearing g-string bikini bottoms. By the pool? Maybe. But in the elevator? WTF is wrong with these fucking frogs?

ro01

I love this. First off, the tee-shirt fits PERFECTLY. And come on, its all about the merch, right? Its the merch that pays for the upkeep of the pad in Mustique. Why pretend? Lets put it out on the table. BUY THIS TEE-SHIRT, MOTHERFUCKERS! I’VE GOT LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTS AND IRRIGATION PEOPLE I GOTTA PAY!

392x474xmick-jagger-elegant.jpg.pagespeed.ic_.lqIu1Qeumj

Is the broach got something to do with the knighthood? or is it France’s Legion of Honor? Or a vintage signed Marion Haskell fur clip? I think Mick could have found a better scarf. Is that tie-die? Or even worse, a kind of modernized tie-die? A simulacrum of tie-dye?

05mick2-popup

I disagree with Michael Des Barres, rock stars can wear runners on occasion and still look cool.

http://pleasekillme.com

Mick Jagger: A Life In Clothes – PART 1

Mick Jagger: A Life In Clothes – PART 2

[ad]