All the mothers of the world are showered with bowers of flowers and other sweet-smelling powders on Mother’s Day. And, of course, as Abe Lincoln put it, it is altogether fitting and proper that we do this. But what do the men get on Father’s Day? Socks. Weed wackers. Socket wrenches. Not fair! The implicit message is: OK, guys, pull up your socks and get out there and FIX THINGS.
PKM aims to redress this deep repository of insensitivity with this year’s Father’s Day Gift Guide. Each item has been hand-picked by our in-house guardian angel, Gillian McCain, with the idea that fathers are supposed to ENJOY their day in the sun, to BASK in the essence of their FATHER-NESS, but mostly to kick back in a comfortable chair, their feet up on an ottoman, and ponder the delights of family. Maybe later in the day, dad can retreat to his man cave where he can further ponder the other delights that he keeps, under lock and key, inside there.
And the first item is something for that man cave…
PUNK ROCK WALLPAPER
A selection of wallpaper with a punk rock theme, including motifs with skulls, monster mouths (“with blood!”), ‘70s jukebox selections, “vintage sleaze,” punk flyers and, of course, punk rock girls.
DEE DEE KING T-SHIRT
While dad ponders his new wallpaper, he wants to be sporting proper attire. Which would, of course, mean a T-shirt, but not just any run of the mill punk T-shirt. No, this one should have an ironic twist. What could be more ironic than Dee Dee Ramone’s 1980s foray into rap? This Dee Dee King T-shirt features the sleeve from his rap record, Standing in the Spotlight. You certainly will be in the spotlight when you wear this.
DETROIT GRANDE BALLROOM T-SHIRT
Or maybe your dad is more retro than the 1980s, in which case this T-shirt featuring the psychedelic-lettered logo of Detroit’s Grande Ballroom will fill the bill. Speaking of great bills, the Grande is where the Stooges, MC5, Frost, Alice Cooper, Sun Ra, SRC and the Rationals laid down the foundation upon which punk would later build its own rock & roll.
PUNK FLYER COFFEE MUG
While dad is sitting there, swaddled in his T-shirt and enjoying his wallpaper, he also needs, within arm’s reach, something on which to sip. Since it is early in the day, this would hopefully be a steaming mug of manly coffee. Preferably that mug would be covered with miniature flyers from past punk concerts. Like this one.
JOAN JETT / JOHNNY THUNDERS MUG
But, again, if dad rolls more to the retro theme, here’s a mug with a Johnny Thunders/Joan Jett theme:
“I WANNA BE YOUR DOG” ART PRINT
Most dads enjoy the constant companionship of a loving, loyal family member who is always willing, eager and happy to display their affection. That’s right, a dog. Perhaps it’s not a good idea to suddenly spring a new puppy on dad without consulting him about it beforehand (depends on the dad, ya know). So the next best thing might be this art print of a retro dog care manual that takes the Stooges’ “I Wanna Be Your Dog” as its theme. The shared byline on the manual is Dr. David Alexander, Dr. James Osterberg, Dr. Ronald Asheton and Dr. Scott Asheton.
PATTI SMITH “HORSES” ART PRINT
Another eye-catching art print/poster is this one, which reimagines the song titles of Patti Smith’s Horses album as separate Penguin Books imprints.
THE TEACHER MOVIE POSTER
Speaking of imaginative gifts for the wall of the man cave, nothing adds to the cool of a room like a vintage movie poster. Especially a vintage poster of a B-movie, preferably one that treads the fine line between satire and sexploitation.
How about this beauty from the 1974 not-so-classic film The Teacher. As portrayed by the talented Angel Tomkins, this naughty teacher “corrupted the youthful morality of an entire school! Her best lessons were taught after class!” Why is it that everyone other dad had teachers like this, and we got stuck with the crusty old biddies?
JOEY RAMONE FUNKO POP! ROCKS FIGURINE
Perhaps a 3-dimensional work of art would be nice to go along with these wall hangings. You know, something whose workmanship dad can spend hours marveling over. The perfect item, therefore, is a Joey Ramone Funko Pop! Rocks figurine.
BLONDIE SCARF
For the dad who’s a bit of a dandy, nothing completes the look and pulls together a room better than this scarf featuring a poster from a Whiskey A Go Go gig by Blondie. No, they don’t just come in pink. You can get them in grey, beige, brown and red, too.
DEBBIE HARRY AIR FRESHENER
After a few hours of resting, relaxing and pondering, dad’s man cave might start to smell a little funky all up in there, if you know what we mean. Help him clear the air with this Debbie Harry air freshener. It’s perfect for cars, too, of course.
SIGNED COPY OF EASY RIDER
Now, for something to read. Something special. Something that no other dad has. Something for which money is no object (but whose value will always go up). Why not this copy of Easy Rider, with the shared bylines of Terry Southern, Dennis Hopper, and Peter Fonda? It’s signed by Fonda, Hopper and Jack Nicholson (but not Southern).
1960S NYMPHOMANIAC JOURNAL
Here’s something truly original to read. A never published handwritten diary from the early 1960s. A dream and therapy journal that contains an account of a woman’s self-confessed nymphomania with the backdrop of the then-breaking sexual revolution.
BEAR CLAW BACKSCRATCHER
Dad is always embarrassing the family in public by trying to find ways to reach that itch on his back that his bear-like arms can’t.
And last, but certainly not least, you can’t go wrong with an autographed copy of the book that started it all!
MORE FROM PKM:
PUNK ROCK HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS FOR YOUR FAVORITE RESIDENT PUNK