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Scott Asheton – Monday Morning Meditations

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Legs McNeilMonday Morning Meditations
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from the PKM Archive:

BILL CHEATHUM/SCOTT ASHETON: I think Scotty Asheton was the last one to go down for his draft physical. And he got out the fastest. He was really loaded on Seconal, and that was before we were doing drugs intravenously, so we put all these fake tracks on his arms, ha, ha! Iggy and I took him down to the draft office and we just kept on giving him beers and stuff, and he was just getting worse and worse. I mean, he'd been up 24 hours already, on Seconal, and drinking. So he gets down there, and we drop him off at the gate, and he goes walking up to this black Sargent at the gate and says, "I'm here to report to this fucking army you G.I. honky motherfucker," and starts saluting him. We're just going, "Oh God!" So Iggy said, "We better get out of here." So we split and they took Scotty directly to the psychiatrist, who was asking him questions, and he had a little model tank on his desk. So Scotty was playing with the tank, "Boom! Boom! Boom!" He wasn’t answering the questions or anything, so finally the psychiatrist just gave up. He just threw up his hands, signed the paper and said, "You're out of here!" So Scotty was out in forty minutes. This was the world record. He actually got out before we got home—and so he goes to call for us to come get him, but he didn't bring any money with him. And he doesn't realize that all he has to do is dial zero and call collect. He doesn't think of that, you know, he's not clear at all. So, he starts walking down 4th Street, and he sees this bar, and it's open. So he goes in there, and I guess the So these cops saw him, after he tried to make the phone call. And the cops said, "What are you doing?" Scotty said, "Oh I'm trying to go home." They said, "Where do you live?" He said, "Ann Arbor." And they said, "Well, it's that way. Get walking, otherwise you're going to be hauled in for vagrancy." Scotty said, "Okay." So he started walking, then he saw a bar, it's a bar and grill, and he starts ordering all these eggs, and stuff. So they start cooking it, and then he remembers he doesn't have any money. He said, "Wait, wait, wait, forget that, I don't want it." Then he proceeds to pass out on the bar. Well he went in the bar with cops sitting about a half a block away watching him, so the cops go in the bar and here he is passed out, so they did arrest him for vagrancy. So Scotty's got a record in Detroit as a vagrant, but he beat the draft.


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