BY GILLIAN MCCAIN

Yes, I am obsessed with the haberdashery of the Rolling Stones.

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OMG. Those lapels! They’ve got a slight country-western vibe, don’t you think? Could be Granny Takes a Trip. . . or Nudies… or is it Edwardian… vintage from Portobello… whatever it is, its gorgeous… is that a plaid scarf he is carrying? Interesting, I wouldn’t have thought of that, but Keith, like Mick, is good at mixing patterns, fabrics and textures. The shirt open to the navel with a vest casually thrown over it is genius. Necklaces “thrown on.” How come I can never get my necklaces to look “thrown on”? The only time I achieve the “thrown on” look is when I’ve got my Gap sweatpants (bottoms sheared off so I don’t trip and fall down the stairs), my Paul Frank tee-shirt, and my Please Kill Me hoodie, and this is a look that, if I had any dignity, I would not wear out of the house, but I have no dignity when it comes to comfort…

Keith Richards wearing Manuel

Fuck… on anyone else this would look like they were just about to do a triple Axel Jump in the Ice Capades. Not Keith. The Special K box in the background is a nice touch.

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Wow. More of the “thrown on” look, which was thrown on, right? Don’t shatter my illusions and tell me that Keith was a mirror whore! The scarf probably came out of the bag Mum was just about to take to the Oxfam store. But whats all that dingle dangle stuff? Or is it jingle jangle stuff? Its hard to make heads or tails.  Is he sporting a velvet cloak over his Jimi jacket? Who wore the Jimi jacket first— Keith or Jimi? Where did he get the tee shirt and what did he do to wear it in so well? Are the trinkets a harbinger of things to come?

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Keith moves product.

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Oh, Mick, for chrissakes. It was a joke, mate. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Next thing you know you’ll be getting knighted, and no we will not call you, Sir.

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Deja vu! Its amazing if you think back how children’s clothing designers picked up on looks like this, even if it was ten years later. The suede jean jacket– I had a burnt orange one when I was ten.  I wouldn’t have been wearing boots (probably earth shoes), and my jeans would have been somewhat longer… but these jeans fit so perfectly I assumed Keith did a tub soak in them and then puttered around his castle as they dried– one of the worst feelings in the world! Like getting into a car thats been parked outside overnight in the Canadian winter. But the sartorial ritual was worth it.   Look at that fit!  I would never do it now. I can barely stand trying on jeans let along wearing them. Though i did wear a pair last night— Citizens of Humanity “Edwin” jeans. Hound said they looked pretty good. I mean, he didn’t wax poetic or anything, but he wasn’t disapproving.

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Keith does norm core. Looks like he just had a shot of bourbon and a Mars Bar.

Keith Richards

Okay, time to talk about the Stones and their footwear. I addressed the subject of Mick’s capezios in Mick Jagger : A Life in Clothes Two, just one example how the Stones never jumped on the bandwagon of the shoes or boots of the day. Now, on someone else the patchwork boots could have looked somewhat corny. Put those on Sonny Bono and you’d need a laugh track in the background. But on Keith? Cool. Let me know if these ever come up on the auction circuit.

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Sandals? Only if they were made by a local idiot-boy-man-child  in a third world country. You can’t see them in the photo above, but take my word for it, there there. How do I know? A little birdie told me.

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Beatles boots, yes. But they would never refer to them as Beatle boots. For obvious reasons. Gee, that looks painful.

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Egad! Find me a bespoke tailor immediately (who isn’t named Paul Smith)! The taper of those trousers is dreamy. Grape velvet with snakeskin. Even that sentence sounds sexy…

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I just noticed the mushroom. Very funny, Keith!

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“Keith, man, I know forty thousand pounds sounds like a lot of money now, but trust me, in ten years you’ll be thanking me.”

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WTF is that jacket? A foreshadowing of the Golden Girls era to come? Now that definitely came from the bag that was going to Oxfam. Its got Granny written all over it. And we’re not talking Granny Takes a Trip here. Did Granny die? She didn’t? Keith pilfered that when he went to visit her at The Home? Bad, Keith. Very, very bad Keith. I’ve never been a fan of the newsboy cap, but like most accessories, Keith pulls it off.

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The dreaded denim on denim works here. Kudos, Keith.

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Ironic Keith.

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MALMO, SWEDEN - 30th AUGUST: The Rolling Stones rehearse on stage at the Baltiska Hallen in Malmo, Sweden on 30th August 1970. Left to Right: Charlie Watts, Keith Richards. (Photo by Jan Persson/Redferns)

(Photo by Jan Persson/Redferns)

Prototype for every guy who walked into Green Door in the early Nineties. Which is funny, because as I scrolled down “Keith Richards” in Google images, a picture of Jessie Malin showed up. As did a picture of Angelina Jolie. Go figure.

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